User blog:BilliousOfTheVoidHands/Why I'm alone, the collection
Why I'm Alone Bill:(looks at Chidori, then at Chief) you like her, huh ;) Chief:(flustered) no, were just friends. Bill: I see, absolutely smitten with her. Point of advice: never cheat with the sister Chief: why would I...? Bill: of course if you can't resist the charms of the sister, kill the brother. savvy? Chief: what... no. No I don't savy. Bill:(looking confused) who hurt you? Bill: that little tip's gonna cost you 4 bits Chief: I'm not paying for that! Bill: never say that to a woman Chief: why would I pay for something so useless Bill: don't say that either. Why I'm Alone 2 Bill: (trapped in cell) *sigh* ???: oh hello, billy! !!!: bye, Billy! Bill: (confused) aren't you two supposed to be *points to skull*.... aren't you *points to self* ???: why yes of course !!!: of course not Bill: (looks around) go away. ???: to where? Your subconscious? !!!: I think NOT! ¡¡¡: (emerges from slimy wall) crack the monolith, live forever, *pulls out brain* as jester of the gods. ¡¡¡: (licks brain slowly) Everyone else: (cringes in disgust) Bill: too weird (picks lock) ???: I miss him already !!!: (sarcastic) he is quite charming, huh? ¡¡¡:NOBODY FUCKING MOVE!! ???: ... !!!: ... ¡¡¡: Dropped me brain. Why I'm Alone 3 Bill on tv: now for your first motive. Your killing motive! Everyone: (shocked) Bill: you wanna see what chidori looks like with no clothes, kill someone and find out. Chi: *screams* where did he get those pictures, baka, baka, baka! Bill: you'd be surprised what you can find on the internet, toots. Empy: strange, you gave use all, even the girls, the same insensitive of photos of a naked adolescent Bill: (condescending) don't act like your not curious. Empy: noted Bill: we're going full battle royale here. Or hunger games if you prefer, you fricken weirdo. Chief: why don't YOU kill us. Bill: no no no, you have to kill each other, you know. Friend vs friend. Bill: that guy (points at jellyboi) VS, I don't know, the emotionless brod (points to empy) Empy: you don't wash your hands after using the bathroom, do you. Bill: no ma'am. Empy: just as I thought, another theory correct, per usual. Why I'm Alone 4 Billious and Dipsy.exe are fishing at a lake* B: I got a new tattoo D: yeah? B: yeah, and a got another somewhere that'll grow. D: hey, Bill, are you married B: ah, yeah. D: is your wife pretty? B: heh, yeeeaa-NOOOO! D: where'd you meet her? B: at the family reunion. D: where was this? B: at the state fair. D: when did you first see her B: there she was, leaning against the Farris wheel, making it tilt, sunlight glistening off her curlers, corndog in one hand, a Budweiser in the other..... *Bill adjusts his seat* D: what's wrong? B: my tatoo's growing. D: do you think you have a drinking problem? B: nah, I pretty much got it figured out D: what about your liver? B: nah, my last abduction, the aliens took it. D: you actually think that you were abducted by aliens? B: I don't THINK, I KNOW, they took me and they stuck something in my butt..... B: and not in the good way..... *Dipsy scoots away from Bill* Why I'm Alone 5 Bill: I am heavy weapons guy, and this.... is my weapon. *holds up rail gun* she weighs 150 kilograms and fires 200 dollar custom cartridge at 400mph. It cost $400000 to fire this weapon, four times Bill: *inspects gun* oh my god, who touched sasha! Alright, WHO TOUCHED MY GUN! Bill: Some people think they can out smart me, maybe *sniffles* maybe. *leans in* I have yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet. Salami: snipers a good job, out of doors. I can guarantee that you won't go hungry. Cause at the end of the day, as long as there's two people left on the planet, somebody's going to want somebody DEAD. Salami: *on the phone* dad I'm.... I'm not a crazed gunman, dad, I'm an assassin! The difference being ones a job and the others mental sickness. Salami: I'll tell ya, my parents, do not care for it. Salami: FEELINGS?! Look, mate, you know what has a lot of feelings? Bubs that bludgeon their wife to death, with a golf trophy. No, professionals have standards, be polite, be efficient, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. Super: *walks through piles of bones and ash.* Bill: I fear no man, but that thing, *scoots closer* it scares me. Super: *camera zooms in on mask lens, showing the reflection of fire and destruction* Future: nah man, I-I-I I ain't talkin bout that freak okay, *looks around frantically* Future: *terrified* he's not here is he? *struggles to take off Mic* HOW DO I GET THIS DAMN THING OFF!!! *quickly exits interviewer room, knocking over camera* Quartz: One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask. Super: *charges up BFG* Quartz: What dreams of chronic can sustain the cruelty. Super: *slowly walks away from burning village, as building fall behind him. The camera pans out to show the turn and scorched piles of furry bodies.* Super: *ominously whistles "do you believe in magic" to an empty, massacred town.* Why I'm Alone 6 So, when I was in high school me and people I guess I can call my friends went to a party. Now this wasn't just any party, because unlike the others, people were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off. Jellyboi got so wasted he threw himself onto a pool table and broke it in half. Apparently, the professor's son (the guy throwing the party) failed to realize was his dad owed Fanboy money, so he went upstairs and took a shit on his computer. So the party was going great. I'm sitting in the living room, and I'm holding a red cup, about to blackout. And I'm flirting with some girls (you've seen movies you know how this goes) and I hear a drunk chidori on the other side of the room, look out the window and say, "something something, POLICE." And in a moment of word association I yelled, mid flirt mind you, "FUCK DA POLICE, FUCK DA POLICE." And everyone else joined in. A hundred drunk toddlers, yelling FUCK. DA. POLICE. With the confidence of guys who have already been to jail. The reason chi had said, "something something POLICE" was because the police were there. So a Chicago police officer walks in, looking over a sea of drunk children yelling FUCK DA POLICE in his face. And he was almost impressed, be was like, "woooooow" so he leans in to his walkie talkie and says, "get the patty wagon" and my friend, Empy, who is now a father, this man now has a baby, he grabbed a forty, smashed it on the ground and yelled, "SCATTER!" And we all ran in different directions, it was like that scene ratatoui when the humans come in the kitchen. It was like that. I ran into the laundry room and out the back to a. BIG chain link fence, and thought "I've never climbed a fence that high before" and I woke up at home. On Monday, I talent back to school and see Chief, the guy who threw the party. And he says, "hey, were you at my party on Saturday." And I said no, you know like a lair. And he says, "things got pretty out of hand, someone broke the pool table, someone took a shit on my dad's computer. But the worst thing is that someone stole these antique photos of my grandma, and my parents are freaking out about it." And I had that thought, that only blackout drunks, and Steve Urkel could have. Did I do that. I thought, "no, no I wouldn't have." But I was never sure until 3 years later. So I'm playing games with my friend, Spirix, who we also went to high school with, and he pauses the game and says, "hey, come here, I gotta show you something." And he takes me into his bedroom, then takes me into a sideroom off of his bedroom. Never a good thing to have. And he shows me a tiny room that is covered wall to wall in stolen antique photos from different people's parties over the years. And I said, WHY? Why do you do this?" And Spirix said, "because it's the one thing you can't replace". Why I'm alone 7 .*future knocks on Empoleon's door as Billious is holding the dead body of Jellyboi* Future: *rapid knocking* Empoleon: *opens medieval veiwport in door* What! What do ya want? Future: are you the miracle man who worked for the king? Empoleon: didn't ya hear? The king's rotten son fired me. Thank you for bringing up such a painful memory, while your at it, why do you give me a paper cut and squirt it with lemon juice. WE'RE CLOSED! *closes veiwport* Future: *knocks more* Empoleon: *opens port again* BEAT IT OR I'LL CALL THE BRUTE SQUAD! Billious: I'm on the brute squad. .*Empoleon looks in disbelief at the hulking figure in the doorway* Empoleon: you ARE the brute squad Empoleon: look, I'll probably just end up killing who ever it is you need me to save. Future: he is already dead Empoleon: okay bring him in. .*15 mins later* .*Empoleon and Chidori are waving and saying goodbye as the 2.5 living friends walk off to storm the castle* Empoleon: *being as positive as an old grandparent who won cash* good luck storming the castle! :) Chidori: *same level of casual positivity* you think it'll work? Empoleon: it would take a miracle. Both: *gleefully counting saying goodbye and waving* Why I'm alone 8 .*many years after everyone but chief has died, chief watches the robot possessed by the ghost of Billious on the security monitor* *he disappears and chief spams the call back button until it breaks* .*Chief slides to the repair button* .*it's taking too long* Chief: Well shit... Billious robot: oooh security guard, were aaare yoouu? Chief: YOU AIN'T TOUCHIN MY BUNS, d-yeh.. HUN? .*B.R is peering through the window* Chief: *sees Bill* Oh, God damn it! Bill: When I'm done with you.. your FACE will look like mashed potatoes... Chief: Yeah, whatever man... *presses audio button* Bill: Okay, now I'm gonna go help that child. THEN I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!! Chief: Okay, bye, happy travels, let's see here... Bill: *bangs glass* there was no child in the there! Chief: *stern* double check *presses button* Bill: I know your hiding a kidnapped child in their, WHERE YOU HIDING IT, YOU SICKO!!! Chief: DUDE! I don't know! Just... *face turns from mad to calm* Chief: Quartz is right behind you.. .*Robot Quartz appears behind Bill with a goofy open mouth smile on his face.* Bill: Quarty? Quartz: HEELLOOO! Bill: *annoyed* hello, quartz.. Chief: Hey, Quarty! Quartz: hi, security guy! Bill: Quartz, don't talk to this guy, he's an ASSHOLE! Quartz: *gasp* profanity! Bill: listen he's hiding a child somewhere but he won't tell me where, you know what that means? Quartz:...*goofy grin returns* no clue. Bill: *sighs* he stole it, Quartz ... Quartz: NO! Bill: YES! We gotta find it, buddy, before something happens! Quartz: I'll do my best, ma'am! Bill: STOP READING FANFICS! THEY'RE CONFUSING YOU! Bill: I'm starting to think there is now child. Chief: *spams button* you just gotta look harder man! Bill: That's it fucker, I'm coming in! Chief: *presses button* Bill:*runs down opposite hall* but first I'm gonna do one last check to make sure that child doesn't exist. Chief: pssshhht, this job is a total joke. *chief notices rusted older Robot Chidori* Chief: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOOOUUU!? Chidori: Heelllo *charges at Chief* Chief: *screams like a bitch* Bill: now's my chance to catch him by surprise! Bill: HAVE AT THEE! .*a crouching Chief hits Bill in the knee with an old crowbar* Bill: OW, MY FUCKING KNEE! Chief: GET CROWBAR'D, BITCH!!! Chief: Thanks for the crowbar, Chi Bill: CHI! WHAT THE FUCK!!! Chidori: I dunno, I'm bored.. Chief: hey Billy, Bill: what!? Chief: you here that? .*grandfather clock chimes* Bill: oh go fuck yourself. Why I'm alone 9 .*a sequel to 8 and a tribute to the first thing to ever make me laugh so hard I ran out of breath* Fanboy: hi? Chief (on phone): okay, check the lights, put on the Billy head if you need to, keep the music box wound up, peace a cake. Fanboy: *anxious* DUDE fuck this! Can't I just leave? Fanboy: *checks cams* y-yeah, you fuckers are movin' already! NOT GOOD! Fanboy: as, damn, Billy's gone now as well .*Billy appears in hallway* Fanboy: *voice cracks* There he is! Fanboy:*shoots Billy the bird* good to see ya buddy! Fanboy: *puts on mask* get on top of things, getting nice, getting tasty, getting fresh, freshalicious. .*vent clangs* Fanboy: *sees salami in the vent* FUCK! Both of you?!?! Ooooh.. .*Fanboy looks back and sees Chidori in a refurbished android* Fanboy: *possibly aroused* sssshhhit! Nice cupcake .*Chidori is literally holding a single giant cupcake* Fanboy: and nice fuckin hips as well, everyone's talkin about Chidori and how she's different now. Internets not going crazy over that design .*Chidori jumpscares Fanboy* .*respawn* Fanboy: my hands are shakin, my hands are shakin but I'm still shootin. Fanboy: I lost Chi-chi, wait there she goes hahaha! She's like 'hey bro, you want a cupcake! It's your birthday!' .*Chidori enters room and shoves cupcake into Fanboy's face* Fanboy: *puts on mask* Chi, NO! That's a bad chi chi, I don't want any of it, cupcake does look delicious though, it's got eyes like it's saying, 'hey bro you gonna finish that pizza' .*Billy appears in hallway as Chidori disappears* Fanboy: ah, Billy go away, *throws drink* SHOO Fanboy: *throws fan* I don't want none o ya.. *fan hits Bill, but he stays put* Fanboy: DAMN IT! Fanboy: okay, right. Now I don't even know what time I'm on... I GOT THIS. .*Empy jumpscares Fanboy* .*respawn* Fanboy: right when fuckin said it! Chief: *rambles over phone* Fanboy: WOULD JA SHUT UP PLEASE! Fanboy: *checks cams* uh oh uh oh uuuh, chi, chika chi, CHIKACHU?!? Fanboy: *pulls out flashlight* just keep flashin, keep flashin, hey chi chi you wanna flash me? Fanboy: *realises the dirty joke he said* hahah, ho ho, that'd be kinky right? .*Empy appears* Fanboy: OOOH! the puppet! Mothrfukr what are ya doin, are BA- .*Empy jumpscares Fanboy* .*respawn* Fanboy: this is a bunsha bullshit! Quartz: haha... Fanboy: who's a laughin at me Fanboy: are you gonna go away *tries to use flashlight* Fanboy: can't use my flashlight while he's here! Fanboy: c'mooon 6am, c'mooon 6am Fanboy: *sees every enemy* looks nooo hoooo, c'mon! .*fake 6am board shows up* Fanboy: yeeeaah haha! So good, I can feel it! In my bones! Everyone: *pulls down the 6am board with trollfaces* Fanboy: ooooo, nice one, Bill- *Bill jumpscares Fanboy* Fanboy: FUUUCK!!! Why I'm alone 10 This is a reiterated version of an actual life story of mine So 6 year old me, Mama Chi, and my technical uncle Future were out fishing on a random road next to a river, you know the ones with the VERY low guard rail, and near the bank of the river it DROPPED into water filled with gators. I was getting to close to the drop off and Chidori was warning me that I'd fall, but I didn't listen. Then a gator dove under water and seeing an opportunity, Chidori yells, "RUN, BILL! RUN, HE'S COMIN AFTER YA!!" My fatass is running like hell up the bank to the guard rail, but I'm too big to crawl under. And I shit you not, I papyrus style yeeted my way over, just flinging my body over the rail and doing a flip, and running to ol mama chi. But I got her back accidentally. we were putting up the poles when I knocked over the tackle box as it spills everywhere. And before it even hits the ground Chidori hears, "sorry mom!" And a big crash. Oh she when fucking ballistic, yelling "Billy!!" On the drive back I'm sitting behind future who's riding shotgun, and I remember him teasing me before the trip, so I hook punched him in the side of the head. Chi yells but Future interrupts with "no, no, it's cool I was teasing him earlier." Why I'm alone 11 So I was in Fresno with my friend, fanboy, and we played a joke on Chidori, we were at first making a gift basket, you know, wine, I even put in 3 packs of sour patch kids. Then we put a bunch of racist stuff in it, I'm talkin sake, hentai we printed, raw squid, and the icing on the cake, and F bomb keychain, but I took a sharply and made it say Nuke. Don't ask. We get there we give it to her, and while she's cussing us out, I steal one of the packs of sour patch kids and hide it in Fanboy's back pocket. We're walk in out and we just hear, "oh HELL no!." I look at fanboy and we both yell, "RUN!" But sadly, the beast tackled fanboy and dragged him back in the room, then i get on the elevator, and fanboy doesn't talk anymore.. Why I'm alone 12 Bill: hey furryhunter. What was the last thing your grandpa said to you. Fh: something about Puerto Ricans, why, what did yours say. Bill: I asked him if it was true he did some hankey-pankey in the retirement home. He just looks at me and says, 'whats that? A bad magic show?' Asked him what he would call it. He said, 'd we got Viagra it's called THE MIRACLE DOWN UNDER or the raising of the dead.' FH: what the fuck... Bill: so I ask, and without Viagra? He says, 'then it's called shoving the marshmallow into the piggy bank.' Fh: *mocking old voice* okay, is it in yet? What do you mean you don't have it? I don't have it! Well if you don't have it and I don't have- eh? WHO'S GOT THE DAMN THING??? Why I'm alone 13 .*Bill and a group of Chinese Furries sit in an Asian themed club* Bill: *hands burlap sack to Lao* now, my pay. Lao: first, I'd like you meet an old friend. Bill: *lights blunt* ok, who? Lao: are you familiar with Yeet, she's somewhere around here. .*Yeet's walks up and sits next to Bill* Bill: *whispering* I thought HQ you said you'd sit this one out. Yeet's: *whispering* and let some random guy hog all the intel? Bill: *whispering* this is about more than Intel. Bill: *aloud* yes, but I've never met her. Where were we? Lao: your drink. You ordered a drink. Bill: huh, I didn't but now I'm gonna. *shouts in mandarin to Drake" Lao: no, it's okay, take mine, I don't drink *hands martini* Bill: and my pay... Lao: ah, yes *hands bag of gold and paper slip* Bill: thank you. *drinks martini* Lao: and now, you'll give me the gold and Intel. Bill: is this some kind of joke? Lao: *pulls out blue vile* Yeet: what dat Lao: antidote Bill: to what? Lao: the poison, you just drank up. Bill: *shouts to Drake* Waiter drake: *cocks revolver under serving tray, aiming at Lao* Bill: good service Yeet: that's not a waiter... Bill: Drake's an old friend Yeet: but he's a furry. Bill: and your name rhymes with... Yeet: don't you dare fucking say it, I'll push you right into traffic! Bill: *to Lao* last chance, give me the antidote . *Lao fires two shots, one disarming drake and the other hit him in the chest." Bill: Drake! Drake: *stubbles against wall* sorry, bud. Wasn't fast enough th- *coughs blood* I've sailed many journeys with you, old friend, Today, I go beyond the horizon. *dies* Lao: don't worry, you'll soon be joining him Yeet: *snatches antidote* Bill: *shoots window, picks up Yeet, and jumps out* *Bill and Yeet land in an old roofless 30s El Dorado* Brandin: holy shit! Crash Landing Bill: Blondie! Step on it! *whispers* And watch the language! Brandin: don't need to tell me twice, *pauses* I'm not calling you dad, though. Bill: I'm not dating your mom, Blondie, I'd be inappropriate if you did! Now step on it before the furs do Brandin: fine. *hits gas pedal* *Bill readjusts his seat and pops bones. Yeet gets out from under the driver seat. Both are groaning in pain.* Brandin: *hearing the grunts of pain and misreads the situation in the back* Brandin: AYE! Cap'n! No time for love! We got company behind us! Bill: she's with someone already Yeet: I thought he like your mom? Brandin: still not calling him dad Bill: I'M NOT DATING YOUR MOM! Brandin: you wish you were though. Bill: eyes on the road, Blondie Brandin: bet it scared the shit out of you when you realized I stole your wallet. Bill: what, you stole my- you little.. Brandin: watch the language. Bill: Bar har har, oh look, you've mounted the curb. .*Everyone screams* Why I'm alone 13 .*chief closes the door so no one can hear him* Chief: calling people daddy is gross Yeet: stop kink shaming me Chief: kink shaming is my kink Yeet:.... Chief:... Why I'm alone 14 *Bill is being chased by furries* Bill: BLONDIE! START THE PLANE! Brandin: *with fishing pole on the plane's pontoon Bill: BLONDIE! START THE PLANE! START THE PLANE! Brandin: *panics and throws the pole in the front cockpit and hops in, starting the engine.* Bill: *hops in back cockpit and scream like a girl when he sees a giant python on the floor.* BLONDIE! Get my gun, there's a snake! Brandin: oh that's just pip, he won't hurt ya! Bill: I live in FLORIDA, Blondie, I deal with these assholes enough at home! Brandin: ya ain't my.. Bill: you better not say it! Why I'm alone 15 Where are they hiding Ah, Chief is hiding in the laundry Nice! look, Fanboy is hiding behind the curtain, classic! Billious though Billious is a smart cookie Billious is hidden in the Void Billious will never be found. Why I'm alone 16 So I had open heart surgery, recently. Afterwards I took Viagra, not going to say why but I did. So here's what happened. I'm going to use people for different places and things. I myself am not going to be in it cause I figured it would be weird given I'm not one to put myself in this kind of place. Of course remember I'm using these people as an efegy, no one here was actually there when I took it. I'll be narrating though cause I'm a sadistic bastard. Bill: taking Viagra after open heart surgery is a civil war reenactment with live ammo, it's a duel to the death between your dick and your heart. when you take it your p*nis is going, Jelly: I'M 25! YEEESS, LETS DO THIS! Bill: meanwhile your heart is going, Chidori: BULL-SHIT! We just got back online you asshole. Slow down, I'm gonna put a calf! Noxen: *growls in pain* Bill: and your p*nis just goes, Jelly:I got the hips! Ramming speed! let's do this! Bill: and your hearts going, Chidori: I'm throwing your back out, FUCK OFF! Noxen: GAHH! Bill: then your penis is like, Jelly: I'm still hard! We're going in! Bill: then your heart goes, Chidori: I'm opening up your asshole, Noxen: *farts* gah! Noxen: AAAAAHHHHH! Talia: nothing has happened yet, are you coming? Noxen: no, I think I'm fucking dying! Bill: and you finally do, after an hour, but after an hour even your dick is saying, Jelly: I got shit to do. Bill: but when you finally do it's like one drop, with two fifty year old sperms going, Future: where the fuck are we? Bill: if you had a microscope they'd have walkers going, Future: keep moving, my tail is cramping, goddamn it. Head for the tits, I know my way from there. Bill: yes indeed. Viagra after open heart surgery is HELL! Why I'm alone 17 Chief: can we get back to the routine Bill: that's right, codependents need a daily routine. Chief: I'm not codependent! Bill: HA, tell that to your medicine cabinet! Chief: change the subject Bill: Drinking? Chief: yeah, drinking's fun. Bill: sure it is, ya get Pissed, you shag a stranger, you end up in the gutter, with your pants around your ankles and a stray dog lickin your BALLS Why I'm alone 18 Jack: but therapy is helping us Bill: how. Jack: I don't talk in your sleep anymore Bill: Wut Jack: it's time you show everyone who you really are! Bill: you mean tell them my life story Jack: no show em your dick Bill:... Jack: that'll get a laugh of a hundred sympathy cards. Bill:... Jack: it's time you show the inner Bill. *to the audience* he's very therapeutic, maybe a bit kinky, grrrrr. Bill: please stop Jack: this place is filled with your closest friends Jack: *points to Fanboy* there's the pizza delivery guy, he still likes you. Jack: *points to Yeet* and there's the girl you walked in on at Chidori's bar. Jack: *points to Quartz* and that guy there in the balcony, drooling.... Jack: I dunno the fuck he is. Why I'm alone 19 Bill: the fuck you want Jellyboi(older and wiser): ah, hello Bill, we meet again after all those years we spent together, in the war. Bill: (needs coffee) *Billious.exe has stopped working* Jellyboi: you owe me a favor, ya old batshit crazy weirdo. Bill: ... Why I'm alone 20 Future: nah, do you even know who ya talkin to .*Future looks at Bill* Future: yo wuts up? (Back to interview room) Future: do have any idea, any idea, who I am? (Future is fighting Bill) (Back in the interview room) Future: basically, kind of a big deal. Future: I'm a force of nature Future: if you was from, where I was from, you'd be fucking dead Why I'm alone 21 Müller: and vhen zhe patient voke up, he's skeleton vas missing, and zhe doctor vas never heard from again. Bill(on medical Gurney): *howls with laughter* Müller: anyvays, zats how I lost medical license. Bill: *looks concerned* Müller: normal hearts couldn't vithstand zis voltage, but I'm very certain your heart-. .*heart explodes everywhere as Müller puts the medi-beam to it.* Bill: vwhat vwas noise? Müller: *scrapes heart pieces off shirt and uber device* Zhe sound of progress mien friend. .*Müller opens medical fridge* Shovel's head: kill me. Müller: later. .*Müller takes the giant heart and attaches the machine to it* Müller: *maniacally laughing as heart begins beating* Bill: *Laughing nervously* Müller: *drops heart into body cavity* zhere. Bill: sh-should I be awake for this? Müller: vell no, but as long as you are, can you hold your ribcage open. I can't seem to- Bill: *wails in pain* Müller: oh don't be such a baby, ribs grow back *turns to random pigeon* no zhey don't. .*medi-beam heals Bill and repairs clothing* Bill: what happens now? Müller: Now? Hehe. Müller: let's go practice medicine! .*in battlefield* Bill: DOCTOR! ARE YOU SURE THIS WILL WORK? Müller: HAHA! I HAVE NO IDEA! Müller: *ubercharges Bill* Bill: YYYYEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! *survives rocket unscathed* AHHAHAHAHA! I. AM. BULLET. PROOF. .*outside med bay* Future: *exits room* oh ho MAN! YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE how much this hurts. Archimedes: *coos inside Future's chest* Müller: Archimedes? Why I'm alone 22 Fanboy: chele Homes, I'm not gonna play with chu if you gonna be like that ese. Jelly: Hey HOMES, how bout I throw your ass back over the wall? Empy: *runs toward jelly with bombs* WITNEEEEESSSS!!!!! .*Static* Chi: oh, hello, and welcome to- *notices Koreaboo* I must go .*Chidori gets in airplane and flies it into room screaming "bonsai"* AlexTheSnivy: jelly, you cant say that, that's insensitive! Jelly: STFU, Swede! I'm not losing to this retarded team! .*static* Jellyboi: MONKEY, GET OVER HERE! Bill: THE FUCK YOU CALL ME, BITCH?!? Jelly: not you Cloutking: .*crackles electricity and nods at Bill* Bill: *nods back and draws blades* Why I'm alone 23 Yeetmaster: *yelling at future and bill* Yeetmaster: *turns to future* remember when I found you, you were so drunk and poor, you couldn't even afford brandy! Yeetmaster: *turns to Bill* and YOU! Brainless! friendless! helpless! hopeless! Do want me to send you back where I found you! Unemployed in Greenland! Yeetmaster: *grumbles and walks away* Future: *smirks* the boss tends to "fuss" Bill: fuss, fuss, he take it out on "us" Future: perhaps he means no "harm" Bill: he is very short on "charm" Future: *chuckles* your a terrific rhyme Bill: yes, most of the time Yeetmaster: stop that, both of you! Future: Billy, are there rocks "ahead"? Bill: if there are, we all be "dead"! Yeetmaster: no more rhymes now, I mean it! Bill: anybody want a "peanut"? Yeetmaster: Gaaah!!